＂Personal design＂ can be used as a social reference and should not be a shackle.

"How cool is it to set up a person at school?" "Which universities are I and E suitable for?" ….. With the coming of the school season, many students put "setting up a person" into the "Collection of Freshmen’s Admission" to solve or avoid the small situations that may occur in interpersonal communication. Some people also worry that "personal design" will limit their social boundaries. How to establish a "friendly but principled and bottom line" personal design?
   

"I" and "E" refer to "introverts" and "extroverts" respectively, which stems from the MBTI personality test that was popular among young people not long ago. Many young people like to show their personality characteristics and promote mutual understanding by expressing their "personality" of "I" or "E".
     

With the arrival of the school season, major universities are welcoming new students one after another, and young students are beginning to step into a brand-new study and life. Compared with the bewildered opening remarks when freshmen broke the ice in the past, the communication method of telling each other that "people are set up" is not only fashionable and novel, but also easier to quickly open a "chatterbox" between strangers, so it has become a tacit and customary meeting language among young students. This year’s freshmen’s social interaction has a new feature. They despise complicated and boring social communication, and prefer to show their personality and attitude directly.
   

When students from all over the world get together, it is inevitable that there are some differences in study and life. "Setting up a person" can alleviate the embarrassing situation that many freshmen have nothing to say when they first meet, and also let them get familiar with each other’s study, living habits and sense of border in the quickest way, thus contributing to their collective study and life in the future. To some extent, this may meet the psychological needs of freshmen, such as security needs, self-esteem needs and self-realization, and also help them to define their boundaries more efficiently and set the tone for their communication with others in advance.
   

Young students know that it is a good thing to have boundaries in interpersonal relationships, which is of great significance for them to deal with all kinds of interpersonal relationships. The question is how to treat "personal design" correctly and make interpersonal communication smoother.
   

"People-oriented" social needs to be treated rationally. The purpose of "setting people up" is to make social interaction smoother after establishing the first impression, rather than forming a stereotype between each other. Openly showing your personality can save running-in time and reduce suspicion and unnecessary contradictions. However, when socializing, we should also pay attention to that if we narrowly frame our own and others’ personalities, it will not only isolate ourselves and hinder social interaction, but also make people feel burdened, anxious and misunderstand in communication when their personalities change. People’s personality is diverse, not single, not static, and will change with the environment and age. Therefore, in social interaction, you can rely on "personal design" as an auxiliary reference, and don’t set limits on it.
   

Interpersonal communication needs to be honest with each other. University is the best time for young people to show themselves and make good friends. Young students are more eager for freedom in interpersonal communication, but the premise of freedom must be mutual respect. Respect different people’s personality characteristics and living habits, so that everyone can live comfortably and grow up happily in the collective. Setting up borders is not a line of defense between people. If we blindly emphasize borders and neglect respect and communication, we will only draw the ground as a prison. Therefore, the most important thing for students is to be honest with each other. When encountering problems, talk about them and solve them in time, gradually establish their own boundaries, and gently and firmly refuse unreasonable demands, which can also enhance mutual understanding.
   

At the same time, don’t let "people set" and "boundaries" become their own communication shackles, try to explore more possibilities in a free university environment, and don’t be afraid of trial and error when you are young. It is also a different life choice to explore the hidden attributes of your personality and make friends with different personalities within the scope of legal compliance. Author: Zhang Xiangyi, a reporter from China Education News.